But those charges at the Marriott weren’t for a conference. And they definitely weren’t for me.

I realized then that I wasn’t the only other woman. I wasn’t even the only secret. David had been juggling a whole life I knew nothing about.

He was using the same alibis, the same lies, the same pathetic excuses to manage me that he was using to manage someone else. I was just one more layer in his web. I felt a cold, jagged anger take root in my chest. It wasn’t just that he had cheated on his wife. It was the fact that he had cheated on me, too. He had made me a co-conspirator in a lie that was much bigger than I ever imagined.

I spent the next three days sitting in my apartment, staring at the walls. I felt dirty. I felt like I had been sleepwalking for a year, and now that I was awake, the world looked completely different. I wasn’t angry at Carol anymore. I was angry at myself for letting her trust me. I was angry at David for thinking he could treat all of us like toys he could put back on the shelf whenever he wanted.

I went to the shower to see if he was capable of regret. I watched him that day, every time he looked at Carol, and I realized he wasn’t looking at a person. He was looking at a prop. He was looking at someone who provided him with a respectable life while he lived his real one in airport hotels with whoever else he could find. I had the statement in my purse the whole time I was at that party. I wanted to pull it out and drop it on the dessert table.

I wanted to see his face turn gray. I wanted to see him break.

But I didn’t. I held it in. I went home and I waited.

Now, the phone is in my hand again. Carol’s text is still there. “Can’t wait for you to meet him.” It’s so innocent. It hurts to even look at it. I think about that baby, how it kicked against my palm, and how much damage David is about to inflict on both of them. He is a man who can look his wife in the eye and hold her hand while he has a hotel room booked with someone else for the following weekend.