I still see that kitchen when I can’t sleep.
The table had a scratch from where I dropped my keys once as a kid.
Mom’s glasses sat next to the legal pad.
She had written my name and Claire’s name on the top line.
The pen was blue ink and it had leaked a little on the paper.
The legal pad had dates written down the side.
The ink was smudged on one corner from her thumb.
The window had frost on the inside from the cold outside.
I could see my breath a little when I spoke.
The chair I sat in had a wobble in one leg.
It rocked a little when I leaned forward.
Her coffee had gone cold in the cup.
The steam was gone.
She kept glancing at the phone on the counter like she wanted to call my father.
She said “Your father thought it was for the best.”
I said “The best for Leo or for you?”
She said “We can still fix this if you just listen.”
I said “I’m done listening.”
The smell of her lotion was strong up close.
The clock on the wall ticked loud in the quiet.
I could see the veins in her eyes from where I stood.
Her hand stayed on the papers like she might tear them up.
I didn’t move until she looked away.
The light through the window was starting to fade.
She said “You don’t know what it’s like to worry about your child.”
I said “I know exactly what it’s like.”
She pushed the chair back a little.
The legs made a loud scrape on the tile.
She said “We only did it because we love Leo.”
I said “You almost killed him by canceling that insurance.”
Her eyes got wet but no tears fell.
The papers crinkled when she flipped the page.
I remember the sound of the refrigerator kicking on.
It was the only noise for a minute.
She said “Your father will be home soon.”
I said “Tell him what I told you.”
I turned and left before she could say more.
The door felt heavier than usual when I pulled it shut.
That was the last time I saw her.
We got the house back after that.
The car too.
The money came with interest just like I said.
Claire and I packed what we could fit in the truck.
We drove two states away with Leo in his car seat.
His first birthday is next week.
We are buying a house there with a yard.
We don’t talk to them.