The kitchen smelled like the soup I had heated up earlier for Gerald. It was still sitting on the stove with the lid on. I had not eaten any myself. The spoon was on the counter where I left it.

I thought about how many times I had stood at that stove making soup for both of them when they came over for Sunday dinner. Shirley always brought the bread and Gerald always asked for extra crackers. Those nights felt far away now.

Gerald had told me once that the trip was their way of marking the years. He said “Fifty years is a long time to share a life. She deserves to stand on that deck with me one more time.” That was the day he made me promise the second time. His voice was tired but the words were clear. I had said “I will keep it to myself” and he had nodded like that was enough. He had looked out the window while he talked, like he was already seeing the water.

Now the promise was done for the night. The call was over and Shirley was probably checking the suitcase again or setting out her shoes by the door. I could picture her house the way it always looked when she was getting ready to go somewhere. Everything neat and ready. The tickets would be on the table by her purse and the alarm clock would be set for early.

I wondered if Gerald would ask about the call when he woke up. He might say “Did she sound happy?” and I would tell him yes. That was the truth. She did sound happy and that was what he wanted to hear. He had asked me to protect that happiness for a little while longer and I had done it.

The light from the hallway fell across the table in a thin line. I moved my hand into it and watched the shadow change. The clock kept ticking and I did not look at it again. There was nothing left to wait for tonight. The decision had been made when I picked up the phone and it was still holding.

The doctor would call again in the morning and I would tell him the trip was still happening. He might ask if I was sure but I would not change it. Gerald had been sure and that was what mattered to me. I had seen how his face changed when he talked about the trip. It was the only time he looked like himself anymore.