I stood in the back row of First Baptist with the envelope in both hands so the letterhead showed. Derek turned to watch Amber come down the aisle and then he saw me instead. His mouth went slack. The music kept going but his feet stopped moving.

My daughter Emma was three weeks old when Derek left for deployment. We had a tiny apartment on the edge of town and a crib we put together the night before he flew out. He kept saying the six months would go fast. His parents lived twenty minutes away and they promised to check on us.

The blizzard started on a Tuesday night. Emma had just fallen asleep in the living room bassinet when the power went out. I was wrapping her in every blanket we had when the knock came. Derek’s mother and father stood on the porch with the truck running behind them.

They said they were taking us somewhere warm. I asked where. His mother said not to worry, they had it handled. I put Emma in her car seat and climbed in the back with her. The roads were empty and the snow came down so hard the wipers could barely keep up.

We drove for forty minutes. I kept asking why we were heading toward the city instead of their house. His mother said the shelter on Eighth Street had a family room ready. I told her I did not want to go to a shelter. She said they had a bed for the baby and that Derek would want me safe.

The truck stopped at the curb. His mother got out and handed me the diaper bag. She told me I would be alright, that I always survive.

Then she got back in and they drove away. I sat on the concrete steps with Emma bundled against me. A woman with a toddler was already there, both of them asleep under a tarp. I stayed on those steps for six hours until someone opened the door at six in the morning.

The next weeks were a blur of forms and phone calls. I found a spot in a temporary housing program that let me keep Emma with me. I called Derek’s parents twice. They never picked up. I wrote letters to Derek but the base mail was slow and I did not know what to tell him yet.

Then a mutual friend posted on Facebook. The picture showed Derek in civilian clothes with his arm around a woman named Amber. The caption said they were excited for November. I checked the date on the post. It had gone up five days earlier. November fourteenth was six weeks away.